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Title: 'How I became King of Stupid Deaths' // Owitzer <26> Sat Feb 6 19:52:30 2010
I was a young dwarf. Short and hairy, with a magnificent yellow beard.
Being a trained fighter of the realm and a little bit cocky I used to run
around with nothing but a pipe a pack and big club. One day I was hammering
on a general. I took him down quickly and with ease. His crushed bones
made for an easy snack as I ate his corpse. In my pack were a pair of
murky blue potions that I knew would carry me further than my
little dwarvish bones of stone could go alone. So I saw me a
wyvern. Dwarves and wyverns don't get along to well in conversation
so I decided to do what I did best and hammered on him.
The fight was a testament to dwarven supremacy. The murky potions
kept me swinging and the wyvern was hurt. My life force was dwindling so
I called upon my mental prowess and my will power allowed me to continue
swinging. The wyvern was dead. The dwarf prevailed. I found a shiney
jewel inside the chest the wyvern was guarding so I decided to run and
show it to Decker.
An ivory door stood between me and my exit so I did what any genius dwarf
who had just triumphed over two greater foes would do and began mashing
my forehead against that silly door.
I smashed my head into the door and it shivered.
I smashed my head into the door and it quivered.
My will power was exhausted whilst my head was already in motion.
I slammed my head against the ivory door, smashing it to pieces, however
the door had the last laft. Once the door was down Lars was waiting for
me smiling.
I got through the door and found my way Death and Lars and a little song
ripped from Monty Python.
Ah to be young.
-Owi
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